i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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