Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
