I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
