Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
