Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
