You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
