8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
