After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
