Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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