It's like a parade of train wrecks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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