Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
