Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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