you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
