There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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