Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
