It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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