Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
