I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
