Define "chronic" masturbator.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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