the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize