as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize