well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
