I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize