You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
