I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
