She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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