I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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