whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My life is pants optional.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
