She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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