'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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