I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
