Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
