The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
