she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
