then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
