He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His nipple licking is glorious
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
