It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
