Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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