Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
