Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
