need another drink. this is the easiest way
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
