no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
