I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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