So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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