And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
