Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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