overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
