I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
