I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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