I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
