She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
