What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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