**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
