yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
