He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
