hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
