I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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