in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize