So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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