She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
