Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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