We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize