I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
